When You Become a Parent

Strange emotions begin to emerge.

But the weirdest thing that happens is you begin to struggle with all the things you previously thought you’d overcome. All the foibles and struggles and problems of your early adult years that you’ve worked hard to overcome, seem to come back in one foul swoop.

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Somehow your kids are a mirror to your inner world, held before you in a way that welcomes back all the problems of years gone by.

However, receiving the insight your kids offer you about yourself is a gift to behold. With them being in your life, you’re able to really move forward and sort out the things that are holding you back, not simply rearrange the mental and emotional furniture giving you the illusion you’ve really overcome.

Mostly though, we’ve just swept our problems under the carpet. That is untill our kids come along and reveal to us all the ways we still continue to struggle.

God bless them.

It’s Tiring

I wonder if the disciples ever just closed up shop and walked away? Like everything they were fighting for just got to hard and they got tired fighting.

That’s what I feel like doing.

I hear and see the debates about gay marriage and it’s just tiring. It’s tiring to keep up, it’s tiring to speak up. I waver between “shit what does this mean for us” and “God is in control”.

If anything, I’m understanding the need for Christ to come and penetrate the earth with his peace in ways that are beyond our comprehension and ability to orchestrate.

But I also rest in the knowledge that one day this entire earth will pass away. Every rule we have and every man-made law we need to follow will be torn down and the freedom that reigns in the person of Christ will be eternal.

Even now, I feel glimpses of eternity and sense the pains of the earth.

‘Maranatha’ seems to be the only appropriate response in such a time as this….

Being Silent May be Your Best Response

It’s in your face. 

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Rainbow colored icons are taking up your news feed. It’s everywhere, and there’s no escaping the truth a cultural shift is taking place. But getting all riled up on social media ain’t gonna help. 

They expect you to be fired up. They expect you to disagree. They expect you to take the bait. They expect you to throw out a bible verse. 

It’s all pretty run of the mill to be honest.

Maybe the best thing God’s people can do is just remain silent.

Resist the urge to fight back. Resist the desire to get angry. Resist the need to be right.

Why? Because its bloody hard to love those in a Facebook conversation. From what I’ve seen, it makes everything WORSE! I’ve not yet come across a single civil conversation on the topic in an online context.

Not only that, but the message of unrelenting love toward your enemies cannot exist where it is not being given. And it can’t be given if you have a long list of enemies not even willing to interact with you. And that list takes shape through your Facebook conversations.

By all means disagree, sign a petition and share your stance with people. But do it offline where a real, face to face conversation can occur in the context of mutual understanding and without trying to prove the other wrong or get the other person to adopt your position.

Turn the other cheek, love others and in their moment of need give mountains of grace and forgiveness.

It’s the way of Christ. It’s the way of us.

Be better.

Ease Up on Your Date Night Ideas

Wifey and I work at making Friday night date night.

We alternate who organises it. Mostly it consists of all the traditional suggestions for date nights: dinner, board games, movies etc.

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But I’m learning that more often than not the best time we spend together is when we have nothing planned. When we decide to crack a bottle of wine and just sit and chat with some creative questions and listening ears.

So often the activities or regular ideas for date night becomes a hinderance to the building of our marriage, not encouraging it.

So ditching them on the odd occasion and just chatting gets my vote everytime. And I always come away having learnt something new about wifey. That’s pretty cool.

What’s in a Name?

A lot. 

There’s a reason we deliberate over the names of our children. There’s a reason we explore different words as we name our business. There’s a reason we use derogatory terms when describing something. There’s a reason we like to name and claim people or things.

It’s because those names carry something. They carry a type of DNA that describes something and gives it meaning or purpose.

There’s almost always a story behind the name given to something. And that name creates identity. And identity creates movement.

But it also gives the person naming a sense of authority.

Naming my kids means I am their parent. Naming my business means I am the owner. Naming a new landmark means I have an entitled position.

Often though, the names given to us are just that, given. We can’t do much about our name except to say that we begin to create a description of ourselves based on the choices we make.

And those choices give us a good or bad name.